Intimate Talk!

It's easy to put if off, but there are huge benefits for you - and your man. So make sex a regular daily routine... just like brushing your teeth!

Good sex is truly wonderful. The warmth of his skin, his smell, the whisper of his mouth across yours. It's a meeting of minds, bodies and souls, a mutual, profound bonding that penetrates us to our very core. The only problem is, long-term relationships can be a kiss of death to regular sex. Ask anyone who's been married for years. No one seems to have time for it anymore. It's so difficult to muster up the interest or the energy to regard sex as a normal part of life. Other important things seem to take precedent - like our work, house chores and, er the telly.

8 (Quick) sizzling moves to jump-start your sex life

Realise there's probably nothing wrong with the relationship if the sight of your partner's body doesn't always send you into a frenzy. Sex requires effort. Try something new. Take turns giving each other massages. Stop blaming each other or your work for your low desire. Making love means making time. Pick a day(s) when you want to get physical and stick to it. Studies show the more you anticipate sex, the higher your pleasure factor. Talk each other up. Low self-esteem and sex don't mix. You need to feel good about yourself - and you can help each other with this. Also define your sexual needs, share your findings - and try fulfilling them.

If you're simmering because he hasn't helped with the household chores, you aren't going to feel especially loving towards him. Thrash it out - then trash it out. Love, like everything, needs to be balanced.Your partner should be as committed as you are in the relationship. Clear your mind and make space for sex. Why worry about work at 10.30pm? They're not paying you for that. Get your priorities right. Turn off the phone, clear a space, and then concentrate on your lover and you. Relocate. Bring back early days of lust - the sofa, shower, kitchen table, and car. When the urge strikes, don't think. Just do it. Set the alarm a little earlier and make love first thing in the morning. Testosterone levels are highest when we first wake up and decreases as the day progresses. Remember, sex is one of life's challenges. It's supposed to be fun and one of the few areas where adults can play. So turn off the TV and turn on each other!

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BABY, Behave!

Your child needs your guidance to learn good behaviour, so knowing when to say ' no ' is crucial


AGES and STAGES : What your child understands ?

• 6 - 12 months - There's no dubt that at this age your child begins to understand the words 'yes' and 'no' and also to recognise when you're annoyed with her. However, this doesn't mean you can expect her to do what you ask.
• 18 months - The typical toddler likes to draw the line herself and rejects attempts to do this for her. Resistance to rules can be fierce, and many parents feel they face a constant struggle.
  

• 2 years - She's full of her own importance and expects you do as she wants, not the other way round. Because she lacks patience, she can explode with frustration the instant she hears 'no'.
• 3 years - Your child now realises she isn't the only one who is expected to behave properly - everyone at home needs to think of others, too. She tries harder to conform as she's keen to please you.
• 4 years - She may become something of a disciplinarian now, and ready to tell you off for putting your feet on the chair or for leaving a used mug on the floor. She realises the rules apply to everybody, not only to her.
• 5 years + ; By now, your child is so aware of the way she's expected to behave that she can usually do this without a reminder from mum or dad. In fact, your child often draws the line herself now.
  

GOOD BEHAVIOUR YOUR 10 - POINT ACTION PLAN
It's never easy to draw the line in a confrontation with your child. Know when to stand your ground, and how to do so effectively.

1. ALWAYS PRAISE GOOD BEHAVIOUR. A cuddle when your child does what you ask him to will encourage him to do the same next time. Praise for good behaviour is always more effective than punishment for naughty behaviour.
   
2. EXPLAIN YOUR RULES. He's more likely to do as you ask if he understands why. Use terms he can understand, for example, "Don't touch that because it could hurt you and make you cry".
3. HAVE CONFIDENCE. You're the parent, after all. Even though he still challenges you , trust yourself to know that you're being reasonable and sensible.
4. USE DIVERSIONS. Rather than saying an outright "no" , try to distract your child, or find a different way round the problem.
5. GIVE LOTS OF ATTENTION. Make sure to spend as much time as you possibly can with your child, so that he doesn't feel the need to misbehave just to get noticed.
6. STAY IN CONTROL. Children can sometimes create a fuss just for the sake of getting a heated reaction. It's important to keep calm when provoked. Say firmly, "I'm not going to talk to you until you stop being silly."
7. KEEP LOOKING FORWARD. You'll feel terrible at the end of a day in which you spent most of the time reprimanding your child. Everybody has days like that. Put it behind you and look forward positively to tomorrow.
8. ANTICIPATE YOUR CHILD'S BEHAVIOUR. If you know your three-year-old becomes irritable in the hour before bedtime because he's so tired, think about bringing bedtime forward a little, or reading him an extra story, to avoid a crists altogether.
9. WALK AWAY. There may be times when you're so fed up with constant battles that you feel ready to explode. That's normal. Instead of shouting, walk into another room for a couple of minutes until you calm down.
10. DEAL WITH INCIDENTS AS THEY HAPPEN. You can't expect a young child to remember what he's done wrong hours after it's happened. Deal with it immediately - then let it go.
    

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